|Relate And Grow|
“The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed.” ― C.G. Jung
Relationships within the family are close,intimate,and largely open to evolving over time .However social relationships are those we form outside home.These are the friends you make,your professional,or business associates, your casual acquaintances,your neighbourhood groups,and various other formal ,and informal ones.Usually these relationships reach a stage of stasis with passing time.Growth,however requires constant renewal.And introspection is the most effective renewal for anything achieve-worthy.
Social relationships help define our boundaries of truth.Staying in isolation is an option ,which even the most enlightened souls have seldom adopted.Rightly, it is social relationships that truly catalyse our intellectual,mental,and spiritual growth.
A question study (Q-study) of social relationships is worth the time and effort,if you are genuinely inclined towards self development,and raising your effectiveness.
Here are some searching questions about your social relationships.
1.Am I happy in relationship with others?Do I like getting along with others?Or am I in search mode ,hunting for perceived hurts,always on the guard?
2.How close do I feel one should get to others?Does closeness with someone hamper my normal functioning?Do I feel being guarded and distant is the best defence against “avoidable” mishaps in relationships?
3.What do I look for in social relationships?What is my focus on?Do I want to give mostly?Or take mostly?
4.Do I weigh social relationships in terms of “tit-for-tat” only?Give and take only?Or can I seek relationships as pure, neutral,pleasant interactions,which carry potential to help us grow and evolve ?
5.Am I touchy about what others say or think about me?Is this an overarching consideration ,and always at the back of my mind?
6.How far back do I go in my memory normally ,in recalling past unpleasant incidents with people?Do my memories go three years back?Five years back?Nine years back?How are those memories contributing to my present moment effectiveness?
7.Do I consider most people as generally selfish,unhelpful,scheming,unreliable,apathetic?Or do I think people are generally helpful,positive,unselfish,caring ?Whatever the attitude I adopt,how is it colouring my response to relationships?Am I aware of it?
8.Whatever others may actually think of me;what do I honestly think about how I appear to others?This is important because my personal assessment is usually correct.What have I done to improve things,if they are not what I desire?
9.Am I polite and considerate with others about their needs in a social setting?Or do I brush aside their emotional and personal needs,because I feel they aren’t any more significant than me ?
10.Have I helped anyone without expecting anything from them?And after helping them have I made sure never to mention it in public or private?
11.Do I remember more good incidents about my social relationships?Or do I have a vast reservoir of distressing ,anguished memories?How is my store of memories impacting my social relationships in life?
12.Am I focused on judging ,criticising ,categorizing,and labeling people as good-bad,negative-positive etc?Or am I aable to accept people despite their differences;cultural,intellectual,mental,physical,material, etc?
13.Do I keep wishing for so-and-so to change in some way before I can feel comfortable in relating to them?Am I directly,or indirectly manipulative in some way in my relationships?
14.Can I feel good about others in general,or do I have very strict lines of demarcation ,whereby I see relationships in black and white only?Either people are good or they are completely negative ?Do I harbor such sentiments?Where is it taking me?Do I nurse “borrowed beliefs” about relationships, like “there’s a bad world out there”, “people are out to fleece you” etc.?
15.Am I able to genuinely let go,forgive,forget past slights,misunderstandings?Or do I keep them alive constantly ?
16.Do I notice more praiseworthy traits in other people,or do I constantly seek out their weak,negative sides only?
17.Do I discuss other people,peers,subordinates,bosses,clients constantly?How much time do I spend discussing other peoples’ weaknesses?How much time do I spend speaking of their strengths?How is this trait affecting me and my relationships ?
18.When I am with others do I have good feelings about them ?Do I feel good about them mostly ?Or am I on a critical and judgmental trip ?
19.Putting up a serious appearance is a sign of power ,ability,status etc.Do I tend to keep aloof just to maintain a facade?Can I be spontaneous in my dealings with others?Or do I feel comfortable in playing out a pre-mediated tape,of behavior,speech,and conduct?
20.Do I tend to avoid closeness and intimacy with others because I feel vulnerable.Do I fear others will take advantage of me,if I am too close to them?
21.Am I in the habit of displaying my alpha male side?Do I want to dominate others and then only feel satisfied?
23.Do I look forward to relationships only for personal gains?Do I seek relationships for helping others?
24.Do I have a tendency to compare myself with others?
25. Am I genuinely interested in improving my relationships with others?What have I done so far about it?
Over to you my friends.............